The new rules of sales engagement: Creating value before you ask for anything

When did sales become so… loud? 

If your LinkedIn inbox looks anything like mine, it’s probably full of connection requests that turn instantly into pitches. Or newsletters you never signed up for. Or cold emails offering a “quick 15 minutes” with no context. 

We’ve built these incredible tools to connect with people—and somewhere along the way, we forgot how to actually connect. 

This was a big part of my conversation with Richard Bliss. Richard is a long-time friend, a brilliant social selling coach, and someone who has built his business around one core principle: give before you ask. 

It sounds simple. But if you’re in sales or marketing, you know how radical that really is. 

Stop asking so much. Start offering more. 

Richard said something that really stuck with me: 

“Every ask is a withdrawal from a trust account. If you haven’t made any deposits, you’re going to be overdrawn.” 

That’s the heart of it, isn’t it? 

So many sellers jump straight into the ask: 

“Let’s book a call.” 

“Can I get 15 minutes?” 

“Are you the right person to speak to about X?” 

But if your prospect doesn’t know you, doesn’t follow you, and hasn’t seen you show up in their world with value first—why would they say yes? 

In today’s sales environment, your first job isn’t to pitch. It’s to serve. 

What giving looks like in the sales journey 

Here’s where social selling comes in. And I don’t mean automated outreach or generic commenting. I mean real, human contribution. 

Richard put it perfectly: 

“Nobody posts on LinkedIn hoping nobody sees it.” 

So when a prospect shares a post?

• Like it. 
• Comment with insight. 
•  Share it, if it aligns with your audience. 

That’s not fluff. That’s digital trust-building. 

It’s you saying, “I see you. I hear you. I respect your voice.” 

And from there, a relationship can actually begin. 

Why this matters more than ever 

I told Richard about a program we recently launched at Mercer-MacKay—where our inside sales team reaches out to warm leads, not with a pitch, but with curiosity. 

“Hey, I saw you downloaded a guide. Was it helpful?” 

“Are you exploring something new or just researching?” 

“Anything else we can share with you?” 

Those calls don’t feel like sales. They feel like support. 

And guess what? We’re booking meetings. Not because we’re chasing. But because we’re helping first—and earning the right to ask for time. 

That’s the new sales math: 

Value + trust = conversation. 

Conversation = opportunity. 

The takeaway? Don’t skip the humanity. 

There’s no shortcut to relationships. There never was. 

What we need now—especially in B2B sales—is a return to the basics: 

• See people. 
• Acknowledge their work. 
• Be generous with your insights. 
• Give before you ask. 

If you lead a sales team, start by changing how you measure success. It’s not just about meetings booked. It’s about connections made. 

If you’re a seller, ask yourself: “Have I earned the right to make this ask?” 

And if you’re not sure where to start—look at your own feed. Whose content can you engage with today, not because you want something, but because it’s good? 

Start there. The trust account builds from that moment forward.